


The Saddest Kind of Sad

by iZerrie



Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad Zayn, Sadness, Unrequited Love, hopeless love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-04
Updated: 2013-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-17 15:42:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/869201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iZerrie/pseuds/iZerrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when Sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and smile and say, “No, I’m happy for you.” That’s when it’s truly sad.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Saddest Kind of Sad

Zayn stood in front of his mirror, staring at the figure reflected in it with a disgusted frown.

He wasn't good enough. Not for her. Not for the girl who made his life ten times better. Not for the beautiful swan that was Perrie Edwards.

He bit his lip carefully, holding the phone up at eye level again. He re-read the text for the billionth time, each word stabbing into his heart just a little bit more.

'Guess what Z! He asked me out! George, from Union J, that x factor band...he asked me out!'

'Course George would go after Perrie...what man wouldnt? She was literally perfection. But Zayn didnt want other guys to see her perfection. He wanted to be the only one watching her laugh, smiling with her, admiring her. But of course, he was only a friend to her.

So when a phone call made his phone play the generic 'marimba' ringtone, Zayn just let it ring. Even when he glanced at it and it read 'Pezza(:' on the screen.

Four phone calls from Perrie and 20 minutes later, Zayn was nearly asleep on the sofa. His head had been faceplanted into a pillow, his eyes shut tight.

He wanted nothing more that to let sleep erase his heartbreak.

He imagined so many things happening...Perrie and George, on their fucking date...Perrie and George, kissing....Perrie and George, walking down the isle together, married...the fucking thoughts just popped into his head, like a curse.

His misery was disturbed by a knock on the door.

Grunting, Zayn hauled himself off the couch and opened the door, his hands rubbing sleepily in his eyes like he had just woken up.

“Zayn! You look like shit.” Perrie was honest. Like always. Zayn smirked, as she tried to straighten some of his messy hair, smoothing it out, but to no avail. 

Giving up, she invited herself into his house and sat on the couch, staring at Zayn half in confusion and half in concern.

“You didnt answer my calls.” She mumbled.

“I know.” Zayn replied.

 

Perrie frowned. “You know George asked me out...right?” she asked, her eyes gazing at his...but he wouldnt raise his head. 

When at last Zayn did raise his head, his smile was 100% fake. “Yeah...yea, I'm Happy for you. Really. No, I'm happy for you.” He said, trying to sound genuine. 

Perrie smiled gently...like a loaf of bread in the oven...gradually, slowly but surely.

“You're ok with it then?” she asked, curious.

Zayn wanted to say no. “Yeah, fine.” God he was so stupid. NotGoodEnoughNotGoodEnoughNotGoodEnough.

And so when Perrie went out with George (3 times), Zayn would sit at home and amerce himself in dumb movies, the kind that had no romance of any sort whatsoever.

Of course, since like every movie had some sort of loveyness, Zayn sat at home watching crappy movies. Without Perrie, to help him make fun of them.

When she came home after her 4th date with George, Zayn admired the beautiful, full smile on her face. “George asked me to be his girlfriend.” She smiled excitedly.

And Zayn's stomach plummeted.

But he smiled and nodded slowly, acceptingly. “Good. Good, he's a nice lad. Treats you right, ay?” and when she nodded, he nodded aswell.

He just wished it was him who made her that happy.

 

George broke up with Perrie three months later.

She came home with a sad expression and water puppy dog eyes...and Zayn wondered who in the world would be stupid enough to break her heart.

Zayn had held her close and whispered that it would be ok...and he had told her she deserved better than George.

Perrie had lifted her head and had demanded to know who could treat her right. She had cried out in her grief, she wanted to know who was there for her.

Zayn accepted her challenge. It was now or never, fuck his stupid insecurities. She was worth everything.

He kissed her.

There was sparks, fireworks, the whole shabang. It was perfect.

Perrie felt the fire too. She felt the passion. And then she opened her eyes, and saw for the first time the way he was looking at her.

And she felt a flutter in her heart-but that scared her. This was ZAYN, her FRIEND. Nothing more. So she turned around and ran quickly to the door. She turned around at the door, giving Zayn a regretful look. 

“I'm sorry, really, but I...I can't. I'm sorry. I can't.”

Zayn nodded. He understood. He bit his lip and nodded again, more to himself than to her. “No, I’m happy for you.” he told her, because he really was. He was happy for her, she was branching into a world unknown. It was sad, beautiful, and tragic...all in one. 

 

 

'The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when Sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and smile and say, “No, I’m happy for you.” That’s when it’s truly sad.' -John Mayer

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